Classic me

It’s two in the morning and I have a problem set due tomorrow that I haven’t started writing up yet. Actually it was due on Tuesday but I got an extension because I had that presentation to give on Monday. Anyway, it’s gonna take me about four hours to write up, so I’m considering just going to sleep now — but my RA neighbor has decided to have another informal party so sleep is out of the question, for the time being. LJ is the next best thing :).

So why didn’t I start the PS yet? Well, it’s because as soon as I came back from classes today at 4:30 I started playing music and I’ve essentially just stopped now. I hadn’t played anything for over a week so I was itching to today. First piano and drums, and then guitar for a couple of hours. In fact, I wrote and recorded a whole song tonight. But more on that in a bit.

The last week has been great. Went to a Warriors game on Friday night. It was weird to root for people like Mike Dunleavy and Troy Murphy. They played the Blazers, who basically dominated, with several SportsCenter-worthy plays. Luckily, the final score was 120-100, which meant that we all got free chalupas! By the fourth quarter, it was pretty obvious that Golden State was going to lose, so we just started rooting for them to get 100 points so we could cash in on Taco Bell…. they came though with 35 seconds left. Money.

Also played lots of sports: soccer, tennis, volleyball. I had forgotten how much I love volleyball. Got beat up pretty badly playing soccer on Saturday so I’ve been limping around since. Almost better though. Watched Syracuse win on Monday and then UConn win on Tuesday. I’m not going to launch into my usual diatribe about how women’s basketball is really fun to follow even though no one gives it any respect. The game was a pleasure to watch, and I was thrilled that UConn won. Then straight after that I went to see Sigur Ros at the Paramount. Amazing show. It was one of those concerts where you want to go home and listen to their CDs immediately afterwards.

Okay this is getting boring. So, the song. The lyrics came to me as I was walking home from Soda Hall at 2am on Saturday night (yes). It’s completely nerdy and basically a joke, which is probably why I was able to record it so quickly — normally I’d spend a long time developing a good melody, etc. The music for this one just popped out today in the practice room in about 25 minutes. Actually the whole song is quite formulaic and predictable, but somehow because it wasn’t a “serious” song I didn’t mind, which is good. As usual, I recorded it, warts and all, on my laptop’s mic.

Listen to the song: P Equals NP.

All the CS majors will be laughing at how incredibly nerdy I am, and everyone else will probably be wondering what the hell the song is about. Some background: whether P = NP is the most famous outstanding question in computer science. There’s a million dollar prize for anyone who solves it. Knapsack, boolean satisfiability, et. al. are NP problems. CS172 is the class I’m TAing. A reduction is a method you might use to prove P=NP. Actually, just ask the nearest CS nerd about everything else, heh. Can you catch the Fermat’s Last Theorem reference too? And yes, the song is supposed to be a joke :).

Because P equals NP
or maybe I’m just wrong
But give me my million dollars
so I can stop singing this damn song
Yeah P equals NP
or maybe I’m just wrong
But give me my million dollars
or I’ll be singing all day long

Been doing a lot of learning
In CS172
Been going to every lecture
‘Cause the TA, he has no clue

DFAs and CFGs
This ain’t their finest hour
It’s all about the Turning Machines
They’ve got the power

And I’ve been searching, thinking
’bout that magical reduction
Yeah I’ve been searching, thinking, looking
for that glorious construction

Because P equals NP
I couldn’t be more right
So just give me my million dollars
or I’ll be here all night
Yeah P equals NP
I’ll be all over Wired
So just give me my million dollars
Damn, my fingers are getting tired

Vertex cover, knapsack
Independent set
Soon they’ll be owing me
A million dollar debt

Boolean formulas
Well you can “satisfy” this:
My request for a million bucks
You don’t want to see me pissed

What’ll I do with the dough?
I don’t have a clue
Oh wait — yes, I know
I’ll replace my old Pentium II

And I’ve been searching, looking,
for that magical reduction
Yeah I’ve been looking, thinking,
about that glorious construction
And I’ve been searching, looking, and I found it
found it to perfection!

Because P equals NP
or maybe I’m just wrong
But give me my million dollars
so I can stop singing this damn song
Yeah P equals NP
It was easy all along
I’d tell you my reduction
but it wouldn’t fit into this song…

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5 Responses to Classic me

  1. awu says:

    Have you played this song for your students yet?

    The Longest Path.

    (google: find the longest path).

    A classic.

  2. wingerz says:

    heh. i like it. reference to a comment (made by fermat in the margin of his notes or some book) on a proof (that was never found) of the statement that eventually became known as “fermat’s last theorem.”

    • Anonymous says:

      Pythagoras’s Theorem can’t be true for xn + yn = zn where n is greater than 2

      Yeah, some guy proved it recently, after 300 years…in 96 – an English guy called Andrew Wiles who was obsessed since childhood with finding it up. In the margin Fermat had written “I have discovered a truly marvellous proof, which this margin is too narrow to contain”..
      Read Arcadia by Tom Stoppard, tis very good. (And relevant, if you’re wondering :))
      Beth

  3. Anonymous says:

    hilarious! luv ur style =)

    .