Have you seen me?

What is weird about these pictures?
(other than my ever-present goofy smile)

The answer is that I am currently missing an article of clothing that I was wearing in each of the pictures: the blue shirt, the legs (but not the top half) of my zipoffs, and the green shirt, respectively. How weird is that? How does clothing disappear? This is not just socks we’re talking about, folks. This is large-scale clothing abduction.

Actually most likely I just left these things during a visit home at some point. Gonna have to ask my parents about that. But until then I’m going to pretend that the explanation is a little more exciting; perhaps I’m the target of an international espionage ring, and they’re stealing my clothes to impersonate me? Yeah, that sounds about right.

Does anyone else lose clothes like this?

(The last picture is interesting in its own right: despite our desperate attempts to look as gay as possible, Wing (on the left) just got engaged this past weekend, and James (on the right) is getting married in three days. Doh! I mean, er, congratulations! But now I have to find new targets for my affection.)

I guess I might as well pay respects to another favorite article of clothing that was actually legitimately stolen from me (if you can handle that oxymoron):

Ah, the old Fila windbreaker. Man, I was down with Fila before it was cool to be down with Fila. Hmm… I guess that just makes me not cool. Shoot! Regardless, if I ever meet the CS punk who stole it from Soda 306 I’m going to type-check his ass until he throws an exception.

I can’t believe I just wrote that.

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15 Responses to Have you seen me?

  1. wingerz says:

    wow. that picture is astoundingly gay. go us!

    it still touches me to this day that you’ve told people that you want to marry me.

  2. dianaca4 says:

    It’s not just you

    My clothing disappears on a regular basis. This includes sweatshirts, tshirts, hats, jeans, scarves, you name it. I have also always suspected it has something to do with a worldwide conspiracy against me…

    anyway what a funny post.

    • aj says:

      Re: It’s not just you

      Dude maybe it’s a conspiracy against the two of us.

      Just look at our initials:
      D (4) + M (13) + A (1) + S (19) = 37

      Also note that 23 is the number of chromosomes we both got from our mothers (as if that isn’t a weird enough coincidence by itself).

      Now look at Genesis 37:23:
      “So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe-the richly ornamented robe he was wearing”

      They stole Jospeh’s clothes, just as they steal ours!

      OMG!!! It’s so strange that it must be true…

      • Re: It’s not just you

        They didn’t steal Joseph’s clothes! They confiscated the technicolour dreamcoat since so many colour in close proximity are bound to clash. His brothers were simply ‘queer eye’ for the biblical guy. And Joe is lucky Trinny and Susannah of the BBC’s ‘What Not To Wear’ show didn’t get to him sooner.

        Great post, by the way. Your journal is still the benchmark.

        • aj says:

          Re: It’s not just you

          Yeah, crap, I knew I should have consulted Sir Andrew before going overboard. Or maybe Tim Rice?

      • Anonymous says:

        Re: It’s not just you

        What a hilarious post and comments. Regarding the clothes, I think it’s just you :) I have some recollection of you always leaving sweaters and things around the place. There’s probably a shirt of yours on Memorial Glade from playing frisbee or something. A jacket of mine and a sweater got stolen from Tan 180 too, but I like to think someone was collecting my DNA for scientific phenomena research.
        Congratulations to Wing and Jen! Though I’ve never met them I feel like I know them so well from your stories and your enthusiasm for what a great couple they are, that I am thoroughly excited and happy for them! And, this is so weird, I too have 23 of my mother’s chromosomes. Freak show up in here.

        • aj says:

          Re: It’s not just you

          Amazingly, Beth, I think I have a coat-esque thing of yours (black, J Crew, grooved, with a waist band) from last year. At least I think it might be yours. If so, you may claim it when you come here next week :).

          So maybe there is some kind of conservation of lost clothing going on here… which means that I’m expecting the bottom half of my zip-offs in return!

  3. ccho says:


    Congrats Wing, Jen, and James! Wishing I were in the US to see you guys…

    Are you listening to Heifetz’s recording of Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto? If you are, and it is the one with Reiner, add up the lengths of the tracks and you get 23:13… add 23 to 13 and you get 36… well, close enough.

    • aj says:

      Re: wow

      Nope, not Heifetz. I don’t have the liner notes handy, but it’s a Seraphim recording, so probably LA Symphony and some good but not great soloist.