(Supposedly less biased as I am technically single at the moment. Of course, since practically no one else here is single, I’m writing these for myself, as usual.)
Some of these are obvious, but they need to be said…
- Every girl can be, at moments, devastatingly cute in her own way. There is nothing you can do to combat this: you will be utterly charmed. Just keep it in perspective.
- Relationships manufacture coincidence. Each small similarity (as in: “we both like the same cereals! We’re so alike!”) is magnified and irrationally treasured. Even if you’re cynically aware of this phenomenon, you are still subject to it. Don’t let a sea of small similarities obscure bigger problems.
- It’s never easy: even the dream girls have problems. Don’t be tricked into thinking that this new, interesting girl is somehow less problematic, unless you have concrete evidence.
- It’s nearly impossible to avoid liking someone at first if she’s good “by the numbers”. Clearly this says nothing about long-term potential, but unless you have an iron will you can only find that out the hard way.
- Similarly, you may like the idea of someone more than you like the person herself. Watch out…
- Rarely do things “get better”. If you find yourself unhappy early on, there is probably good reason. (This from someone who tries very hard to make things work… I’m finally realizing that mostly it’s a lost cause.)
- Sometimes self-interest can masquerade as kindness and goodwill. It’s hard not to be fooled at first.
Perhaps more to come…