The Kindness of Strangers

This past Thursday I found myself watching the National Spelling Bee with my mom. I’ll admit I have a pretty low opinion of the Spelling Bee — rote memorization seems be a strange thing to glorify to such a degree. It’s like having a competition reeling off prime numbers.

But at the same time, it was great television (especially watching with my mom, who’s one of the all-time great rooters). There’s a lot of personality-reading to be done, as the kids aren’t trying to be composed, as in other competition shows (e.g. American Idol); they’re just trying to spell the words correctly. So you pick your favorites quickly, and root for them the whole time. Mine was the girl from Canada, who seemed genuinely nice.

And, of course, there is the satisfaction you get in observing anything, no matter how mundane, done well. And these kids are champs.

The one surprise this year was that the best Indian kid only finished fourth. Fourth may sound like an impressive feat, since Indians make up less than 1% of the US population. However, they have nevertheless exhibited an ethnic dominance of the Spelling Bee unrivaled in magnitude by any ethnicity in any other “intellectual” pursuit I know of. Recent results:

Perhaps the Spelling Bee’s lesser known cousin, the National Geographic Bee, is next in the sights of the great memorization armies streaming forth from the motherland. Things are picking up.

Unfortunately, these results are at best a source of amusement (especially when translated into articles like this one), furthering the conception that Indians excel at tedious, time-intensive, soul-crushing tasks; doing as well in, say, winning Nobel Prizes would be a little cooler.

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Speaking of competition, I watched some track and field on TV this weekend. Of course, I have some appreciation as a former track runner myself (good enough, interestingly, to have been national champion in my event if I were a girl, but unfortunately not good enough to be the best guy runner at my school), and just observing their times and speed — and imagining how far back I’d be if I were in the race (either men’s or women’s) — makes me feel the jaw-dropping “holy-crap” kind of awe that I imagine pickup basketball players must get when they watch an NBA star.

But the really fascinating thing about track is that it is, unequivocally (to me), the single most competitive endeavor in the world. I can’t think of any other competition that’s as hotly contested.

Soccer is the only other truly world-wide sport, but I’m not convinced that even when I’m watching the World Cup, I’m watching the best game of soccer I could be, given the talent existing today. It likely suffers from some anti-Moneyball selection bias, since it’s so hard to evaluate how good players are and how well they’ll interact with each other. So it’s an inefficient market, and scouts and managers no doubt are making suboptimal decisions when selecting players. Similarly, intellectual competitions just have too many external variables to control for.

But track is based purely on an objective measure, time, so the best people have a great shot of making it through. Sure, not every fast runner in the world is identified, and not every runner who competes gets the best training, but on the whole I’m betting that of all competitions it has the highest percentage of the best people in the world operating at the highest levels. (Or maybe I’m forgetting something?) And that’s pretty cool. By watching track, you’re able to really see the true current limits of human achievement, in this respect at least. What else can you say that for?

From snafuuu, thirteen life-changing albums. I guess here I talk more about why they are good than about why they mean a lot to me. But I think I prefer that.

Alice in Chains, Dirt
One of the darkest albums I’ve ever heard, moreso now that lead singer Layne Staley did of the drug overdose he feared so strongly in these songs. Really just jaw-droppingly powerful music. Crucial through high school.

American Analog Set, The Golden Band
Ah, what a sound. Drew me away from my melody-oriented bias and made me appreciate the feeling of the songs. Convinced me that repetition is not boredom.

House of Freaks, Cakewalk
The first indie album I ever heard and possibly the best.

House of Freaks, Tantilla
So different, yet equally brilliant. Outstanding lyrics, awesome guitar work, and of course terrific songwriting. Helped me realize that truths don’t have to be personal to be meaningful.

Luna, The Days of Our Nights
I listened to this album over and over while walking on snow-filled streets and pathways in college. Hearing the first track, I need to just close my eyes to see the snowflakes falling…

Sarah McLachlan, Solace
I just loved how these songs could be so pretty and yet so oppressively dark. The start of a long road for me.

Neutral Milk Hotel, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea
I was late to hear this album, and had heard some of its hype, but it still blew me away. Profundity and power in a handful of chorus and phrases, and oh, that voice. The songwriting is so intensely personal that I’m not sure whether to be amazed or unsurprised that it strikes a chord with everyone. What an album.
Bonus: my band’s one-off cover of “The King of Carrot Flowers”. Sorry if we butchered it. But we love the song!

The Nields, Bob on the Ceiling
I saw these guys live more times than I’ve seen any other band (10+). And they ushered me into the secluded yet awesome world of neo-folk: Dar Williams, Richard Shindell, the mind-blowing Martin Sexton, even in the end Gillian Welch. But this album stands on its own: literate, joyous, pointed.

Opeth, Deliverance
It was a toss-up between Opeth and Dream Theater, but Opeth won out simply because it was more extreme on every level: beauty, power, vision. I was an am still amazed that they can pull this stuff off so convincingly. It’s sad that death metal is such an acquired taste, or I’d be passing this album out to everyone.

Radiohead, The Bends
Radiohead has faded on me a bit in recent years, but this album is sublime. I remember listening to it on the way to Homecoming in Matt’s dad’s car… and with my first girlfriend.

Simon and Garfunkel, Concert in Central Park
My earliest memory ever is of listening to this album, and I think I’ve listened to it more than any other. Of course Paul Simon’s a genius.

Paul Simon, Graceland
Probably the best lyrics of any album I’ve ever heard. And also the best road-tripping CD, too. Has saved my ass on endless drives.

Ugly Kid Joe, America’s Least Wanted
Unequivocally a superb album, near-perfect. Unfortunately, the kind of thing people think is funny to listen to… because people are dumb. Equal parts humor, hooks, technical proficiency, and ass-kickage.

Runners-up:
Ryan Adams, Gold: How this guy puts out such polished and quality songs so quickly is beyond me. My introduction to the cult, and a great album.
Ben Folds Five, The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner: Primarily for tracks 2 and 3, two of the greatest songs ever written, and also because I heard this during one of the best and worst summers of my life.
The Dandy Warhols, Thirteen Tales From Urban Bohemia: The first album that I ever thought was perfect the first time I listened to it. (I’ve since retracted that statement, but it’s close.)
Dr. Dre, The Chronic: If you’re white (ethnically or culturally), suburban, and male, you’ve rapped to this. Admit it.
Dream Theater, Images and Words: Prog-metal awesomeness. For once, technical proficiency does not imply wankage (most of the time).
The Flaming Lips, The Soft Bulletin: Heard this in 2001. Oooh man, like NMH but not quite as good.
PJ Harvey, To Bring You My Love: Hasn’t quite withstood the test of time, but brutal and dark and moving, all with only a few chords and a lo-fi asthetic.
Integrity, Humanity is the Devil
Aimee Mann, Bachelor No. 2: Only heard this in 2004. An exercise in effortlessly perfect songwriting. Maybe I’m a bit jealous.
Paperboy, The Nine Yards: The first rap album I ever got. Clearly influential.
Phish, Billy Breathes
P.M. Dawn, The Bliss Album
Sigur Ros, Agaetis Byrjun: Is there any 10 minutes of music more beautiful than track #2? Pretty much the best album ever for listening to in the dark.
They Might Be Giants, Flood: Not their best album, but the first I heard and thus clearly a milestone experience. I can still sing it word for word, I think.
The Tragically Hip, Day For Night: Too bad these guys are unheard-of down here in the U.S. Lyrical imagery + arena-rock licks = awesomeness.
Tool, Opiate: My first taste of real anger in music, way back when. My review of it in the high school newspaper got me banned from writing any more reviews. Can’t say I was disappointed.
U2, The Joshua Tree: This should be obvious.
Andrew Lloyd Webber, Cats: Thank god musicals don’t need to have a cheesy, predictable plot or stupid lyrics or even customary song structures.

Trivia. Of these bands I have not seen Alice in Chains, House of Freaks, Neutral Milk Hotel, Ugly Kid Joe, The Dandy Warhols, Dr. Dre, Integrity, Paperboy, Phish, and P.M. Dawn live. Of those, only The Dandy Warhols are really still around, so it’s mostly too late.

DoGooder.info: feel good about others doing good. Site by wingerz.

Well, it took all day, but it’s finally up.

Evaluate me.

Or try your own: http://realpersonality.com/. Fun! If you like it, please spread the word. And of course feedback is appreciated.

judytuna posted a link to a Johari window, this thing with which she can evaluate what her principle traits are (“happy”, “introverted”, etc.) and have friends do the same. The idea is that the traits can then be divided into four quadrants: (1) known to everyone (2) known to her friends but not to her (“blind spots”) (3) known to her but not her friends (“facades”) (4) ones not selected by anyone (“unknowns”).

I was really excited by this at first, as I had long been thinking about a similar tool for self-evaluation. Imagine you want to make yourself a better person. You have some imperfect view of yourself, your strengths and weaknesses. Maybe some aspects of the view are accurate, but undoubtedly not all of them are. In fact, you may not even be aware of what your greatest flaws are (especially if one of them is “lack of self-awareness” ;). So it may be hard to rectify them.

Of course, your friends have some other incomplete view of you, but one that’s arguably more important. Many of the traits with which you might describe yourself really only make sense in the context of how others perceive you. That is, maybe you think you’re nice, but if others don’t then functionally you’re not. So wouldn’t you like to find out how you’re actually perceived? I’m curious, at least…

However, there are two key problems with Johari windows:

1. The traits are all positive or neutral. Negative traits would be the most helpful.
2. The results are not anonymous. You can see how everyone else rated you, and they can see what you thought of yourself, as well as what each other thought. This obviously undermines the integrity of the test, especially if the traits are negative: people are much more likely to say the bad stuff anonymously.

So I’m thinking of making my own website that has an anonymous version of the test, perhaps with some modifications to allow for greater expressivity, with a broader range of traits. Would you take it?

[ I did some web research and found out that there are “Nohari windows” too, ones that have only negative traits. Still, we need anonymity. ]

“I don’t have a favorite band,” I’ve often said, “but if I did, it would be House of Freaks.”

Yes, if you’ve lived with me, you’ve probably encountered my obsession with this band — brilliant music, inspired, literate lyrics, energy, beauty, honesty, a whole range of musical styles packed into just two musicians. Bryan Harvey sang and played guitar and Johnny Hott did percussion.

I had a crush on a girl in ninth grade, and while the crush didn’t last, one of the tapes she lent me, Cakewalk by House of Freaks, ended up changing my life. I bought everything of theirs I could find — every time I saw one of their five albums in record store bargain bins, I picked up. (And now I have at least 3 of each.) Random trinkets off of eBay: posters, a handkerchief, press packets. Early on, these all were hard to come by, as the CDs were out of print and the band was obscure. I paid more money for their first CD on eBay than I’ve paid for any other CD in my life.

Of course, the Freaks marked many, many moments in my life. I can’t count the number of times I’ve listened to their songs, lying on my bed in the dark, just amazed that such raw, potent, heartfelt music could exist and speak to me so perfectly. I know their albums so well now that I hardly need to listen to them — I just run my hands along a House of Freaks CD spine and am awash with lyrics and music and memories and it’s as if I’ve just listened to the whole thing in one punch.

As part of my Internet Freaks searches I came across their only fansite, run by a guy who knew Bryan. There was an “Ask Bryan” section, and if you asked a question he’d try to get Bryan to answer it sometime. Well I submitted a bunch and lo and behold Bryan responded to all of them, thoughtfully and with his trademark mixture of cynicism and sincerity. I must have read those responses fifty times, and treasured them endlessly. Then a few years later I happened to post a question about HoF on a totally different message board, and amazingly, soon after I got an email from Bryan himself, out of the blue; he had come across the posting, still remembered me from before, and graciously answered my question himself. Jesus. Such a small interaction and yet it had me smiling for days. How often does one of your favorite musicians drop you an email, unbidden?

I wrote the original Wikipedia entry on House of Freaks; nearly every mix CD I’ve ever made that means anything to me contains a Freaks song. At the same time, I often recommend music for my friends to listen to, but I almost never mention the Freaks… they’re just too personal to lump with the others. Such is my obsession.

About ten years ago, the duo broke up, though Bryan and Johnny remained good friends. Bryan started a family and settled in Richmond, VA, and that’s pretty much all I knew.

I was just about to go to sleep tonight when I saw this heartbreaking piece of news: on New Year’s Day 2006, Johnny stopped by the Harveys’ house for a cookout and found Bryan, his wife, and their two young daughters in the basement, bound, gagged, and beaten, their throats slit by wandering grifters.

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My breath caught in my throat and I had to stop reading. But soon after I continued… an hour and many Internet articles later, I am even more devastated, because, it seems, his brilliance as a musician was only a sidepiece to their brilliance as a family.

There is a page set up in the local newspaper for people to record their memories of the Harveys, and it’s heartbreaking. There are over 500 of them, many from locals who knew the Harveys one way or another in day to day interaction.

You’re always afraid to learn too much about the personal lives of your musical heroes, because invariably you’ll be disappointed: great musicians are not often great people. So I knew very little of Bryan and his family. Well, go ahead and read a few of those pages of memories. He and his wife and daughters were angelic. Just the fact that so many of the memories are focused overwhelmingly on the family’s kindness, and not on Bryan’s music, is telling. The sheer number of people who were touched, and able to remember a specific act of kindness or a memorable interacton (rather than a generic “they were nice people”), speaks to how the Harveys were universally loved. Even if you are cynical about the revisionist tendencies of mourners, I challenge you to read a handful of those pages and tell me that this family was not amazing.

Anyway, I am exhausted and have no idea how to make this sound sensible or interesting or whatever the hell LJ entries are supposed to be. But the tragedy of these murders, and the goodness of the Harveys — if I could ever be near the person Bryan was, or have a family half as kind, talented, and loving as his, I’d consider myself more than blessed — well, it’s too much for words.

Last two pics courtesy of William and his spiffy new camera.

Check ’em out. They have captions (above each full-sized picture).

In trying to book tickets to go to my friend Mike’s wedding in Honolulu, Hawaii, I’ve learned the following facts:

Flying roundtrip from Dallas to Honolulu costs $900.
Flying roundtrip from Houston to Honolulu via Dallas costs $630.

On America West, you can fly from Phoenix to Honolulu. The flight goes via Las Vegas.
However, you can’t fly directly from Vegas to Honolulu, even though there is, apparently, a plane taking off from that airport that goes to Honolulu.

The one that struck closest to home:
On Northwest, it costs $730 to fly roundtrip SFO->HNL.
Northwest has a promotion by which it costs $320 to fly roundtrip from ATL->HNL. This flight stops in SFO in both directions.
Yes, $400 cheaper. Unfortunately, you cannot buy a multi-leg ticket and get on halfway — the airline won’t issue you your boarding passes except at the starting airport. (You can get on at the beginning and get off halfway, though, provided you didn’t check any baggage.)
$400 was so much cheaper, however, that I hatched a plan to buy a one-way ticket from SFO to ATL on Northwest, go to the SFO airport and get all my boarding passes, and skip the SFO->ATL->SFO legs. Then I could (maybe) just jump on for SFO->HNL, and on the way back skip out early and get out at SFO.

Sneaky, right? Ah, but the airlines are sneakier: a one-way ticket from SFO->ATL runs $600. $600! The best part is that a roundtrip ticket, SFO->ATL and back, costs only $300.

Insanity. Of course, even this convoluted plan, with the roundtrip ticket to Atlanta, wouldn’t save me much money at all, so I abandonded it.

I do, though, hate airlines.

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I’ve seen a number of projects that attempt to numerically analyze changes in airline prices by some automated system. Essentially they treat the airline websites as black boxes and just aggregate stats on them. While this might work, I’m wondering whether someone can just get an anonymous insider to expose how prices actually work. Is there any sense there at all?

Something akin to the famous Confessions of a Car Salesman, perhaps. No doubt in the airline case it might be illegal to disclose this information. But there’s gotta be some loophole…